I am terrible with remembering names. When I introduce myself to an unfamiliar person, I often forget who I’m talking with unless I make a conscious effort to memorize the name and associate it with the face. Once I capture it, I never forget. But then again, capturing it is key.
Name recognition may not seem important, but it is. My name is Jason. What’s yours? If you don’t remember mine after asking for it, I’ll presume that you’re not paying attention. During conversation, one of the most important things you can do to show that you’re listening is to call the person by his or her name.
A few weeks ago, I met someone at a local coffee shop, but failed to capture his name. Well, I bumped into this person again a few days later and he remembered mine:
Hi Jason. How are you doing?
Of course I said hello and we talked briefly, but I knew that he knew that I forgot his name. After our conversation, he used my name again as we parted ways and of course I didn’t respond in kind. I should have simply acknowledged that I forgot his name and asked for it once again, but I didn’t and this was a mistake.
When someone calls me by “hey you” or simply “hello,” I’ll respond, but it’s different when someone calls me by my name; it’s more personal.
If you’ve forgotten the name of an acquaintance, acknowledge it, capture it the second time, and don’t forget to use it to show that you’re listening.
2 Comments
Ah, so true!! Capture it a second time is the golden rule (when you forget to capture it the first time)!
And on the paying attention to the person part of the equation: this is a dying art. Actually listening to someone when they talk is a lost form. Ignoring your buzzing cell phone and laptop computer is becoming harder and harder for a majority of folks. We will never remember names; unless we ignore all of our technical distractions (and fast pace of life) and pay attention to the person, actually listen to what they are saying and remembering their name.
@Aaron I agree. I was talking with someone from out of country and it took her awhile to realize that when asked How are you doing, a thorough answer wasn’t actually sought. In the states, answers like “ok” or “fine” do just fine. What are your thoughts on that?
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