Yesterday during a caffeinated conversation, I was asked how to best deal with conflict at. I was talking to Josh who often finds himself in situations where getting thrown a punch is just moments away. Josh drives a sports car and it gets a lot of attention, but not all attention is good. People approach conflict differently. Some people start it, as others find ways to avoid it altogether. I prefer collaborating, but I’ve been known to accommodate too much.
Josh admits that he should probably walk away when people taunt his ride or confront him for no apparent reason at the bar, but pride gets in his way. He isn’t willing to back down, and I don’t completely blame him.
There is another way though. Instead of avoiding or accommodating—backing down—I suggested to Josh that he ask questions, making the conflict initiator question what he is doing or about to do. Telling someone that they are in the wrong or to !@%$#%@ off doesn’t work too often, but asking questions or saying what isn’t expected can do some good.
For example, Josh could ask the conflict initiator if he’d like to see what’s under the hood or offer him a beer. This would definitely catch him off guard.
Alcohol and bars are known to spark fights while coffee and coffee shops facilitate lively conversation. This is common knowledge—you’ll never have to wait in line to get into your local coffee shop or be asked to leave by a bouncer for drinking too much.
Yesterday during a caffeinated conversation, I was asked how to best deal with conflict at. I was talking to Josh who often finds himself in situations where getting thrown a punch is just moments away. Josh drives a sports car and it gets a lot of attention, but not all attention is good. People approach conflict differently. Some people start it, as others find ways to avoid it altogether. I prefer collaborating, but I’ve been known to accommodate too much.
Josh admits that he should probably walk away when people taunt his ride or confront him for no apparent reason at the bar, but pride gets in his way. He isn’t willing to back down, and I don’t completely blame him.
There is another way though. Instead of avoiding or accommodating—backing down—I suggested to Josh that he ask questions, making the conflict initiator question what he is doing or about to do. Telling someone that they are in the wrong or to !@%$#%@ off doesn’t work too often, but asking questions or saying what isn’t expected can do some good.
For example, Josh could ask the conflict initiator if he’d like to see what’s under the hood or offer him a beer. This would definitely catch him off guard.
Alcohol and bars are known to spark fights while coffee and coffee shops facilitate lively conversation. This is common knowledge—you’ll never have to wait in line to get into your local coffee shop or be asked to leave by a bouncer for drinking too much.